Monday, November 10, 2008

Out on the water in the dark

Quiet, mostly.
I slipped into the water seamlessly, without all the usual crashing around. I had no big plans, except to get out onto the water for a little while. The extreme quiet helps to clear my head of all the multiple problems of the last week.

Mom is furious with me so Ben and I think it is a great idea that Judy take her to Utah to die. Let her be mad there. God knows, she's spent years either being furious with me or not knowing who I am---the Bendoski bunch needs to experience this and I can show up once a year for two days.

Si I was more in need of quiet than usual. I got lots. Deer for one, wandering in and out of the dark fog. Pelicans paddling alongside me. (My, they are odd looking creatures). Dozens of sea otters, preening themselves in the dark inky water, oblivious of me bobbing nearby.

I stayed out for maybe two hours--again, no camera because I really wanted to be right there, Maybe next time I'll take one out with me because it really is beautiful and peaceful.

I know I sure feel better.


PERBS said...

Your Mom doesn't mean to be that way. . . it is the pain and the meds talking. You have been there and done what you could. Don't worry now if your sister wants to take her home to live -- let her go. You have memories. {{{{{Chloe}}}}}

Anonymous said...

You have gone through enough abuse. Let Judy have a turn.