Thursday, November 27, 2008

No Drama and No Guilt

That's my sister's department these days and I feel sorry for her because she sounds like she is on the edge....and I should know, because I've been living there for the last eight years.

Mom is still in the acute care home and hating every minute of it. I'm going into work at 0300 every morning---that is 3am as in 3 dark thirty because I don't have a classroom (not since my class decided they were going to rape and dismember me)

I have a desk job and a non-contact one at that. I write lessons, run them off, mail them out, correct them and keep track of work---all easily done in the dark, as long as custody knows I'm back there, locked up in the warehouse, with my alarm.

Lisi drops by before she starts her shift and then drops by during her lunch hour. I drop by on my way home at noon and again when Ben gets off work.

I've made arrangements (if Judy can get a 16 foot U-Haul rented via the internet) to have it loaded tomorrow while she and Gene drive down from Provo.

It's a 12 hour trip (Well for me. It takes longer for Judy. Always has.)

Not sure when they are leaving. They are parking in my driveway and I'm having the crew park the U-haul in front of my house so they can drive it off with Mom on Sunday.

Judy is beside herself. All of these plans have been in place for years but I don't think she ever thought they would ever actually happen. The house she was living in wouldn't accommodate Mom (tiny with stairs and a teeny bathroom), so they are moving to another house they own in SLC, which won't be ready until Friday.

They will only be living there a short while, while the house they are building in Park City is being finished. I don't envy her three moves with Mom in tow one bit, Mom being as crazy as she is. (Mom had this great idea-load her in the U-haul in her bed with a cell phone. Forget the fact that she is deaf and can;t hear on a cell phone. She thought that was a good idea. Judy is renting an RV.)

Today, the plans changed hourly until I was as snippy and short as I could be. First it was this way. Then she talked to Judy and it was something else. Then she talked to me and it was totally opposite. If I hadn't had Ben with me, I would have thought maybe I was the crazy one.
She is positive that Judy has to handle all the last minute business herself in person--not so. The address change--fill out the forms and mail them in. Done it a million times. Moving money from one account to another? Simple as writing out a check, filling out a deposit slip and putting it in another bank. Not a big eal at all. The big deal is the way she has her power of attorney worded--it is fine if she is dead, but worthless if she is alive unless she is incompetent, which she would have to be dead before she would agree to being. Makes everything impossible to handle.

With Joe, it was exactly opposite. he thought he had everything taken care of but what he had only worked as long as he was alive. Once he was dead, he had nothing put into place. It pays to have more than one lawyer look at your trust/will/plans. Not all of the attorneys graduate at the tops of the class.

Judy is in for the same very long and contrary road I've been on.

It won't be any fun.

1 comment:

Marji said...

But it's her TURN. She's lived 1000 miles away and gotten to be merrily out of it going to lunch with Marie for, what? 35 years?

All those hush-hush, let's leave Katie out, we're still in high school, conversations? It's Grow-Up Time!