Our dog, Matt

Matt is 19.
That's really old for a little dog.
He spends most of his time sleeping.

The rest of the day, he spends not quite understanding what the heck is going on. He got out the other day and not only could figure out how to get back into the open gate, he tried to bite Mike when Mike tried to pick him up.

Now, Matt never bites me, but then, I've spent the last ten years babying him. I clip him (he hates it), shower him (hates it even more), medicated him (I used to put his pills in Fruit Loops but he has figured that out and refuses to eat them anymore. I have to grind up his pills and mix them into his food.)

And the food? I hand feed him. I cook up chicken livers. I slow cook chicken and mix it with gravy. he is so skinny, since he only eats if I'm there that I try to up his calories. (He can't find the food dish and if he does, can't remember what it is for.)

I syringe water into his toothless mouth, since he can't remember what the water dish is for.

The other day, he was sitting by my chair, doing that arthritic-pain whimper, so I gave him some pills and decided to wait an hour. If he wasn't better, we were going to the vet for the last time. I can;t tell you how hard this is. Mike has had Matt forever...Matt was nine when we got married. We've had Rocket and Tank for six years and I love them to bits-they are so funny and goofy, I can't imagine life without them.

Matt was never goofy, He has always been a very serious little Schnauzer. He weighs, on a good day, six pounds. Rocket weighs three and Tanks weighs 130). He likes things the way he likes things and has only this year even been allowed to sleep in the bedroom. (Tank and Rocket sleep under the bed, but not together-Matt sleeps on a sheepskin and one of my ratty nightgowns over by me, out of the way so he doesn"t get stepped on. He gets upset if I move the sheepskin or the nightgown.) And you can only imagine the total disgust when I wash them. If looks could kill, I would be up in flames.

Pete is going to dig a hole, up on the hill and I'm going to plant a trumpet vine next to it. I know the day is coming and when it does, I want to be able to bring Matt home. Oh, I know he'll be waiting at the Rainbow Bridge for me but it still makes me sad.