There is just no place like home for the holidays

I know there are families who do Christmas both easily and well.
I do Thanksgiving well and have hosted oh, somewhere around 5-60 people for Turkey day...and it is wonderful. However, comparing Thanksgiving to Christmas is like taking the Miller's Analogy Test. A post-doctoral in idiocy.

So my main focus has been on ME, MY HEAD and MY HEADACHES, punctuated briefly by ambulance drives to the ER. That's what my holiday planning has been about. I have a tentative date for surgery, my bag is packed and my paperwork is in order.

Inserted into this was a total meltdown by my husband, who tossed my daughter out of the house. (I know. I got him drugs from a doctor and had some very hard, harsh words for him. But the outcome of THAT is going to have to wait until I get out of rehab).

Then my friend, my very best since 8th grade friend suggested that PERHAPS, being as how the hysteria has gotten the best of my spouse that I should spend Christmas with my mother and children...

HAS SHE MET MY MOTHER?

When I told Mom about this surgery (mainly because she gets all crazed if something major goes on, and she iwill nevitably finds out and go insane, since it's NOT a secret) There truly is nothing worse than a feeble, frail old woman screaming and sobbing. Too bad I do not have a carry permit. So, in my usual INSANE style of living my life, I decided to let my 86 year old mother know what was going on with me...just in case I died or had a stroke. I felt she should at least KNOW. (Big mistake.) After the weeping and wailing; How did you get it? Is it my fault? You haven't been the same since xyz (actually, since I started thinking for MYSELF), sob, weep, wail....oh Mary, Joseph and Baby Jesus, WHAT was I thinking?

LET THE DRAMA BEGIN.
When I told her that it was congenital (as opposed to being caused by an injury), she went nuts over it was her fault. (WHO CARES? Not me. I am content enought to know what the heck it is and have no need to lay blame. If this isn ot the way God wanted me, he certainly has had time to change it.).

Then it was off to the races, with Pity Party in the lead, followed closely by Holiday Hysteria, with No Flowers at the Gravesite and One Step into the Grave, neck and neck in third place.

It looks like it is going to be a close one, folks. These fours equines have trained for years for this Holiday Triple Crown -Holy Mary Mother of God, What Were You Thinking is coming up from behind and it looks like this race is going to be a surprise finish. Folks, I hope you backed either Original Drama Queen or Screamin' Diva, because it looks like those two are going to pass the relative newcomers on the field.

Spend the holiday with my mother. What WERE you thinking?