Monday, July 28, 2008

They don't call Topamax Dopamax for nothing

I am not a fan of Topomax, mainly because it can make a person stupid. I've tried it a LOT of times and it has made me really stupid. Really fast.

I did mention, oh....about 50 times that it makes me really stupid and my doctor, Dr. Big Shot told me I'd be dandy if I just started slow and low.

I've heard that before and from more guys than just him.

Doctors for some reason think maybe I don't know what I'm talking about. I mention it REALLY strongly and they always say oh, whoever prescribed it didn't start me off low and slow enough. Believe me, any lower and slower, I wouldn't be talking it at all. I'd be taking it next week.

So I started low and slow...just like he told me to and this morning I got lost on the way to work.

I turned right instead of left and ended up on 13th instead of 10 1/2. (There are no signs out in the back of beyond. You just have know how to get to where you are going.)

So I had NO idea where I was. No idea where I came from either (told you this stuff makes you stupid).

I managed to get back on the road I was on (it doesn't have a name, either) and thought to myself, "Ogden. I'm going to Ogden." (I am nowhere NEAR Ogden.)

As I'm going past the big barn off the road, I know I'm supposed to turn where the Budweiser sign used to be seven years ago but out here in Boswell-land, there are no signs, no street names and the only landmarks are crops and it is harvest time right now, so the hay bales that were in the fields yesterday are gone today.

There are two huge prisons out here and I'm not real sure at this point which one I'm supposed to go. No worries!

I'll go to eenie meanie mine-y-mo and pick this one. If I'm wrong, they won't let me in and then somebody in charge will look at my badge and figure out where the heck I'm supposed to be and call them up to fetch me.

No worries.

Oh, I eventually sorted it all out. I picked the right one. When I got into the check in, they let me in. I recognized the door to my office. We were moving, so it was all topsie turvy anyway. I spent most of the day watching inmates strip the floors and move stuff. It was sort of like grown up recess.

My new office isn't ready yet. Maybe tomorrow. Or not. I only have a desktop and a box and I'm not even real sure what my new job even is.

Probably pretty apt, doncha think?


Paulie said...

Glad you got there in one piece. I didn't -- see my blog for meaning.

rodney said...

Hey Chloe.....keep on trucking, girl!

Marji said...

I take Topamax twice a day every day. And Prozac. And Tamoxifen.

I think you do this stuff on purpose. Seriously.

You have perfectly good brains. USE THEM.

PrincessSteph said...

It makes me kind of dum too. Stupid facts like names of my bestfriends children, my godfathers first names, the city where my sister got married last summer have all disappearred from my memory. I started 4 months ago and have never played more games of 20 questions with friends to come up with simple answers! Good luck!

William Lawson said...

Hear hear. Or is it here here. Had some sort of freakin seizure the other night. In a restaurant with wifey. Paramedics, hospital, the whole nine yards. Epilepsy they say. Stress I say. In any case, DopaMax is prescribed. And each word I am typing I have to type twice cuz I am misspelling each one. Ugh. So yeah. I agree with you and not only does it make me stupid it makes me feel dizzy and nauseous. Happy 2009!

Anonymous said...

dito... forget this stuff... I'm quitting and giving my doctor the big F. U....

Anonymous said...

Marji- I was on topamax for 2 months and refused to believe that my anxiety, depression, comfusion, inability to think of words, and the fact that a size 9 girl became a size 3 was from the medication.

I was so stubborn,I blamed myself for being "stupid". Topamax, as well as any other drug causes different effects for different people. glad it works for you, maybe you can just stop being ignorant now.

Anonymous said...


If you do a Google search right now for the slang word "Dopamax", there are over 14,000 hits.

Perhaps, YOU are the one that should use your brain, if you have one. I quit taking Topamax for the exact same reasons, and for you to imply that you are smarter than the Chloe, let alone millions of other people, is the summit if arrogance.

I guarantee that I am better educated, make more money, and could speak to any subject better than you could ever dream. Stop being a dolt and speaking to things you know nothing about. Everyone's body is different, and especially our brains. I think your comments are clear evidence of that fact.