It has been thirteen weeks since I tore my rotator cuff.
It really hurts.
It hurts even when I sit in the hot tub and take drugs.
So tonight, I decided that I needed to amputate it. Get a hook. Or one of those claw things. Or a spike. Or all three.
And what will my mother say, when she finds out I've lost my entire right arm at the shoulder?
"Well, there's seven pounds you'll never have to lose again!"